Get Connected to your Happiness Through Compassion

Get Connected to Your Happiness Through Compassion

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

--Dalai Lama

The pursuit of happiness is one of mankind's most shared values. One of the best ways to create immediate and long-term happiness in your life is to get connected to others through the practices of compassion.  It may seem counter-intuitive that real happiness comes from the cessation of suffering, but science has shown that this is true.

When you practice compassion, your body’s cortisol level or "stress hormone" decreases by as much as 25%.  Also the production of DHEA, the "anti-aging" hormone, increases by as much as 100%.  In other words, when we get connected to others through compassion, we retain our youthfulness longer, and experience fewer of the side effects of stress!  You get connected to a healthier you!

As a Life Coach, I have found that one of the greatest misnomers of contemporary society is the belief system that personal acts of gratification equal happiness.  Gratification can stimulate short-term pleasure...consumerism, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. but, the reality is that gratification is short-lived.  As such, it can become addictive, which causes more suffering.  This is not to say that gratification or pleasure has no place in life, it is just a reminder that regardless of what the advertising moguls spam us with...these things do not bring enduring happiness.  Happiness comes to us, through us…when we get connected to others.

If you want to get connected to long-term and real happiness, developing an attitude of compassion is your ticket.  Here are a few simple techniques that I often share with clients. These practices can up your happiness quotient, decrease your stress levels, help you get connected, and make you look younger too!

• Practice Gratefulness.  Take a few minutes each morning to acknowledge all you have in your life for which you are grateful.  Your health, home, family, friends, your job, that your basic needs are met, etc.  When we fully acknowledge how much we actually have to be grateful for it is easier to get connected to those who may be less fortunate.

• Practice Empathy. Think of someone who is suffering.  A friend, family member, co-worker, neighbor, etc.  Imagine their suffering in as much detail as possible, and then send them thoughts of hope and loving kindness.  Imagine that their suffering ends and they are able to experience life on a happier level.  If you have a spiritual tradition, you could also pray for them.  Resolve that even if you can do nothing else to help someone, that at least you do not add to their suffering.

• Practice Random Acts of Kindness.  Throughout the day, find small and thoughtful ways to be kind, helpful, and open to others. If you want to get connected, you must first open yourself to them.  This can be as simple as smiling at someone who looks forlorn, listening to someone even if you are feeling rushed or overwhelmed yourself, offering a word of encouragement, running an errand for someone, holding the door, driving with patience…anything that decrease the stress in someone else's life, and /or acknowledges them in your life.

• Practice Reflection.  At the end of the evening reflect upon your day.  Were you able to feel compassion...even toward those who may have treated you unkindly?  Remember, that when people are mean-spirited it is because they are hurting.  Try to walk away from these situations, but  instead of feeling anger, acknowledge that they are suffering and trying to have their needs met.  Silently practice empathy towards them.  Reflect upon what you learned in the day and give thanks for all that you accomplished.  Resolve to continue to practice compassion and get connected  each day.

When these simple steps become a regular part of your life, you will find that you get connected to others easily and develop an inner quietness that allows others to get connected to you.  You will find that you can easily get connected to people wherever you are...at home, work or traveling, because the truth is we are all more the same than we are different.

Smile, Be Happy and Get Connected!

Helen Gibson

Here is a link to another article on how and why we need to get connected to each other.
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